Thursday, December 18, 2014

Darren Maule writes to Santa - Cotton On opens big - My Chef could just save your day

East Coast Breakfast’s Darren Maule writes to Santa

Dear Santa

I hope you are well and I know this is a busy time of the year for you but I write to you every year and this year is no different.

Santa, I don't know if you haven't been getting my letters but I haven't heard from you since I was 7 years old... Has your address changed? This is the one I have always used is:

N. P. S. C.
P.O. Box 56099
North Pole
Alaska 99705-1099

Anyway, again, I know how busy you have been what with the population of the earth almost doubling in the last 150 years and with the price of reindeer food sky rocketing - but I haven't received anything from you in the last 30 Christmases...

Just a few of the gifts that you 'forgot' to give me over the past few decades include :
(In no particular order)

World Peace.
Signed Farrah Fawcett poster.
Day pass to the Large Hadron Collider.
Pele's boots.
Neil Armstrong's helmet.
Michael Jacksons glove.
Flight on a Concorde.
A bag of British racing green M&M's.
James Bond's Aston Martin DB5.
A tour of the Bat-Cave.
Xanadu's roller skates.
A luck dragon.
A field trip to Hogwarts.
Maria Sharapova's sweaty pink peak cap.
R3 coin.

I have since lowered my expectations and am hopeful that this year will be the year that you drop off my present.

I've done the Maths and I know that you are under time and weight constraints. You have only 32 hours (traveling east to west at 17 000km/h) and having 112 million homes to visit I know that in order not to break the laws of science that you will be dropping off roughly 620 toys per second.

So the present I request from you this year is very light and easy to deliver. In fact, you can just email it to me. Seeing as I have been an exceptionally good boy and considerate in my gift choice, I wait expectantly to see my present in my email inbox first thing Thursday morning 25th December 09h00 CAT.

Please Santa, for Christmas this year, please may I have Katy Perry's cell phone number please.

(For your reference: attached is a picture of the Katy Perry.)

Yours expectantly
-The best behaved personality in the whole wide world-
Darren Maule

P.S. If you absolutely positively cannot get past Katy Perry's manager to get her number and you are guilt ridden to compensate with another gift, then any one of the gifts on this handy list should help:

Prince's 'Purple Rain' guitar.
Jetlev Flyer Jet Pack.
PS4 + GTA5.
Preview release of Zack Snyder's "Superman Vs Batman."
3D printer.
World Peace.

P.P.S Don't eat my neighbours cookies.

Huge Opening For A Huge Store

Cotton On had a huge opening of their new store in Gateway, Umhlanga recently. 


Spending too much time shopping and in front of the stove? Well My Chef can change that and assist with catering for every day suppers and lunches for the whole family and make every night in the kitchen stress free whilst saving you time and money.

My Chef offers a range of healthy meals delivered to your door every Tuesday and Friday. They are specially designed by registered dietician Julie Thomas. If you have a busy life, are health and body conscious, wanting healthy meals as part of your exercise eating programme or want to spend more time with your family - then get clicking and order your meal.

To get started visit and sign up for free. Then login and view their range of menu options, which change on a weekly basis – giving you the freedom of choice.

After choosing the meals that suit you and your family, pay securely online, sit back and wait for your food to be delivered to your door. Once you’ve received your meal, follow the simple cooking instructions to prepare the most delicious meals and become your very own chef.

My Chef has received excellent reviews from people that have used the service.  “I love having more time to spend with my family and ensuring that we all eat healthy meals and I honestly have to say I wouldn’t know what to do without My Chef,” commented Jane Linley, one of the fans of My Chef. For more information, contact 086 169 2433 or log onto .

2)     The Christmas Menu

With Christmas around the corner, we are sure many of you are starting to think up ideas for the traditional Christmas lunch for a big family gathering or even for just the two of you, but are not looking forward to hours in the kitchen, wastage of food and unnecessary costs.

It’s been a long hard year and we know that you want to make the most out of the holidays by spending time with your loved ones or just taking time to chill. With My Chef, make Christmas a piece of cake. There is so much to choose from, so check out the Christmas menu and just to tease you with some of our delicious delights, see some of what we offer below:

Hors D Oeuvres: Our appetisers are many but some tasty treats worth mentioning include bacon wrapped baby porkies; tiger prawns filled with cheese and chilli, mascarpone;  fig and pecan pate simply to die for; show stopping smoked salmon terrine as well as homemade prawn and crab samoosas – definitely a star studded performance, plus more.

Main Christmas Faire: We have thought of all the main Christmas faire options, starting with Deboned Christmas Turkey with a spicy sausage, apple and pecan stuffing; deboned Christmas turkey with mushroom, sage, caramelised onion and brown butter stuffing; road whole deboned chicken, honey and mint roast lamb, crispy French style pork belly, cooked and ready to carve Turkey stuffed with a spicy sausage, apple and pecan stuffing, Gammon in all its glory, and so much more.

Accompaniments: There’s going to be something for everyone from Moroccan roasted vegetable and hummus phyllo pie, scrumptious two cheese and chive potato bake, timeless broccoli and cauliflower au gratin, as well as heavenly avo and pear salad. These are just a few of our favourite’s mentioned.

Dessert options don’t come better than this with Decadent bar one chocolate pudding, creamy dream apple pudding, tipsy tarts, Christmas pudding the My Chef way and many more to mention!

We have also tailor made an effortless traditional Christmas package for a minimum of four guests, so have a looksee on for all the options.

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